8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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