i really wish james franco would like my vagina
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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