Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
