had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
