ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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