Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
