Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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