youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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