areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
