My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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