I am midnight drunk by noon
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
