Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
