I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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