I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
