The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
