The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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