No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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