help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Someone came in the potted fern
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
