Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
