I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
we should paint friendship bongs
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