I just saw a hot homeless man
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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