OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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