i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize