Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
