I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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