she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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