Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Randomize
