Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I fill condoms, not promises.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
