the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
