Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
