hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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