I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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