I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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