Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Randomize
