"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
