Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You were trust falling into bushes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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