We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize