That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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