Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
