Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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