Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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