And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We have started to decorate penises.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
