we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
