If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
