you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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