I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
