Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
