While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize