She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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