i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
