the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
