i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
