Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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