apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
try to milk me bitch
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