Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
