i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
