You really coming over, don't trick.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
