Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
