Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
