WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
