Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
