RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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