May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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