So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Be still, my beating vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
