I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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