Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
