I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You don't make any sense
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