How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I can't put those talents on a resume
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
